Of Butterflies and Rainbows
I’ve considered myself a writer for a long time. I’ve been writing ever since I can remember. To me a writer is not just someone who has made a name for themselves with their writing or even someone who has been published. It is someone who writes for their own pleasure and purpose and whose writing is part of their life process. By that definition, everyone who’s out there blogging their life experiences is a writer, and I agree with that. I think that even if I didn’t put the things I have written out on a public forum, I would still consider myself a writer, with all my boxes and notebooks and files filled with fiction, non-fiction, and poetry.
A great deal of what I write is negative, and filled with sorrow and despair. If one were to peruse through my selections, they would find a heavy dose of heavy. Someone once asked me why I always write so dark… “Why can’t you write about butterflies and rainbows?”
Well the truth of the matter is that I write when I am in need of writing. It just so happens that most of those moments are when I am feeling the pain of some event. I write to get through it, I write to sort out how I really feel, and to try and bring all sides of an issue to the surface for examination. And when it is all said and done, I have something concrete to look over or to remind me how things really were “in the moment” (or at least what was in my head about it at the time).
When it comes to all the positive things in my life (and there are a lot of them) there really is nothing to “work out”. Happiness is happiness is happiness. Love is love is love. And when life is providing me with joy and bliss, I don’t need the writing, I’m content just to live it and feel it. If I do write about it, then so much the better, but more often than not those times go undocumented.
As a contributing member of society I hope to somehow leave a worthwhile legacy by creating positive changes in the world around me and because writing is such an integral part of my life process it will ultimately play a role in that endeavor. My tendency to “dwell” on the darker side of things might make the task more complex, but despite that, I still believe that my positive aspirations can be brought to fruition by cultivating the sparks of my particular brand of inspiration – Butterflies or no butterflies…