Search for Truth
Is happiness found in a true song that always stays the same
While years and miles and people pass with every seasons change?
Or is it found in change itself growing different at each turn
Like a wind that whistles whispers at every different word?
Sometimes I long for seasons past and sometimes the yearn is strong
But I go ahead on this same path though it seems too dark and long.
I swallow hard and beat down these thoughts ever creeping in
And alone I cry sadness inside, a fight I cannot win.
I search for truth and truth be told I’ll never find my prize
This streak of stone face stubbornness will lead to my demise.
Years I’ll pay the toll I’ve promised for a promise of the past
They’ll find me here in this same place forever at the last.
Written September 2002
Original copy in “The Night Journal”
Interestingly enough, this poem from this journal came with an interpretation, which is as follows:
I’m trying to decide if happiness is found in contentment and safety of things that stay the same, or if it is really found in the adventure of change – of seeing new things and maybe not being safe. I contemplate my life and the choices I have made, clearly committing to the philosophy that safety and contentment was the correct path. Now realizing that it might not be so; I see the future I have is dark with the choice that I have made and regret creeps in. I know in my heart that the decisions I have made may not be great ones, but am too stubborn to admit the mistakes, even knowing they will be the end of my or at least my happiness. I keep my promises and my life the same because that is what I have chosen to do and the price I pay is something I have accepted and also that it means I am trapped in this way of life until it is over.